A life more ordinary...

I want a small life. An ordinary life. A comfortable life.

That wasn't always so. I once wanted to achieve 'amazing' things. I was going to be... a noble prize winner; a celebrated human rights lawyer; the next John Pilger; or the leader of the socialist revolution. I was going to change and save the world.

Not so anymore. Perhaps it is just a symptom of getting older, growing up. Perhaps it is that so very crucial realisation that the world does not pivot around me and my will. Perhaps it is simply valuing myself enough to know that you don't have to do astounding things in order to be astounding. Regardless of the process it simply seems now that the small things are those that really matter. The seemingly inconsequential is all important. I might not change the whole world, but I can change and enrich my little part of it. I can recycle my rubbish, shop ethically, impact positively on those I cross paths with and add value to the lives of those I love... I can make my little arena a better placer, a richer place. To me, today, the life more ordinary is what is truly amazing. This is my definition of a 'successful' life.

In this context the eternal struggle to excel, to succeed, to achieve has become somewhat alien to me. I am driven, I am motivated, but I no longer reach for the (nearly always) unreachable. Yet so many others do. There is a constant need to be... better, richer, nicer, more respected, more well known, more celebrated, more 'successful'. Whilst these certainly aren't unmerited goals I feel more and more that they detract from what really matters. In striving for the life less ordinary it is so easy to let all the beauty and magic of the life you already have pass you by.

So, I want a small life. A nice place to live, a job I enjoy, the companionship of cats and of the people I love. I'd like to get married, wear a pretty dress and have children whom I will teach to value themselves and the world around them. I'd like grandchildren who visit at Christmas and I'd like to tell them stories of the world as it once was, and of my ordinary yet amazing life. I'd like to die with the satisfaction that my life was well lived in, that it was rich and meaningful, and that I made myself and other people happy. What more could anyone desire?

"Life is what happens to you when you're making other plans." (Betty Talmadge)

Postscript: I still wouldn't mind being 'the next John Pilger' and of course, when I eventually get there, my post-doctoral expostulations will be groundbreaking and change the academic landscape irrevocably.